Ellen Pompeo Reveals She "Hasn't Spoken" to Patrick Dempsey Since He Left 'Grey's' (2024)

Since Dr. Derek Shepherd's tragic death on Grey's Anatomy, the writers have tried their best to cure our heartbreak — with more seriously attractive doctors i.e. "Ortho God" and DeLuca. Well, the pain clearly cuts deep because seasons later, fans are still wondering why Patrick Dempsey, who played McDreamy, left the beloved medical drama.

Unlike other character departures (think: Arizona and April at the end of season 14), Derek's didn't come with a warning. Over the years, the Dempsey has kept things sweet and simple by saying that it was merely the end of a long — but fulfilling — chapter of his life."It had been long enough. It was time for me to move on with other things and other interests. I probably should have moved on a couple of years earlier," he told People in 2016.

But still, he made a point to mention that the decision to leave was amicable between him and creator Shonda Rhimes. She even released a statement following his final episode: "I never imagined saying goodbye to our ‘McDreamy’—then again, none of us here at Grey’s Anatomy imagined any of the many journeys this show has taken us on. Now, Meredith and I are about to enter uncharted territory as we head into this new chapter of her life," Rhimes told Entertainment Weekly.

Dempsey, on the other hand, had his eyes set on a different future: one where he spent more time with his family. "I’m very grateful for Grey’s Anatomy,” he told People in 2015. "It’s given me the opportunity to do everything. But at the same time, there was a cost." For him, it was quality time with his growing family. "I think after a certain period of time, no matter how much money you make, you want control out of your own schedule," he continued.

At the time, Dempsey and wife Jillian Fink were struggling to balance their demanding careers (Jillian is a popular celebrity makeup artist.) with their three children: Tallula, Sullivan, and Darby. Just before he wrapped season 11 of Grey's Anatomy, Jillian filed for divorce after 16 years of marriage. The couple eventually called off the divorce in November 2016.

The cast, while sad to say goodbye, understood Dempsey's decision. And although fans were quick to criticize how McDreamy was killed off (Spoiler alert: He was in a tragic car accident.), co-star Ellen Pompeo said it was the type of death that a guy like McDreamy deserved. "If the character is still alive, then the audience can never let go of that character and then they always want them to come back. Knowing that he did 11 amazing seasons and was ready to move on, you can't have that. You can't have his character be a bad guy and leave his family," she told E! in 2015.

In fact, once Dempsey cut ties from McDreamy, Pompeo did the same. During an appearance on Red Table Talk, the current Grey's star revealed that she hasn't spoken to Dempsey since his character was killed off."We haven't spoken since he's left the show," she said. "I have no hard feelings toward him, he's a wonderful actor, and we made, you know, the best TV you could make together."

But it's not what you think: After making 11 years of TV magic together, Pompeo acknowledged that Dempsey needed time to find himself — and that meant she needed to help him let go of McDreamy. "Typically when people leave the show, they need to sort of re-find themselves, who they are, without the show, because the show takes up so much of your life. So, we have not spoken but I will always have a place in my heart for Patrick," she revealed.

Along the same vein, McDreamy told ABC News that he still hasn't seen his final episode on the show: "It doesn't end well," he joked. When asked if there's another chance that he'll star in a Grey's Anatomy-level show, Dempsey doesn't seem so sure. "I would commit to a show that is 10 to 12 episodes, but 24 again … I don’t know if I would do that," he told Entertainment Weekly. "It’s a very hard life. It’s financially rewarding, but there comes a point where, how much is enough, really?"

In hopes to find that answer, Dempsey has stepped away from the spotlight in recent years, focusing on his family, racing, and developing passion projects. In 2019 alone, he produced The Art of Racing Rain, announced plans to open a hospitality house at Dempsey Center in Portland, and continued to share his love of auto racing. But who knows, one day we might catch him on TV again.